My Little Pony: Disney Tales
by Blue Paratroopa
Summary: Retellings of classic (and recent) Disney films, starring the Ponies and friends!
1. Fluttershy and the Four Crusaders I

Once upon a time, in a far-away land (with a horse-related-punny-name, no doubt), a lovely Queen sat by her window sewing. This was difficult with only hooves, so as she worked, she pricked herself with her needle. Three drops of blood fell on the snow-white linen.

"How happy I would be if I had a little filly with lips as red as blood, fur as white as snow, and a mane as black as ebony," thought the Queen.

She didn't quite get her wish, but her daughter was certainly lovely, with yellow fur and pink mane. The Queen named her Fluttershy and died shortly afterwards.

Fluttershy's stepmother, Queen Trixie, also known as "The Beautiful and Royal Trixie," as she insisted on being called, was cruel and vain. Out of jealousy of the princess's beauty, she forced Fluttershy to dress in rags (she could have dressed her in nothing, of course, but she found rags to be more humiliating) and do endless chores all day.

Now, Trixie had a magic mirror with a kind and intelligent (but brutally honest) slave trapped inside. Every day, she would ask the slave who the fairest in the land was. It was always Trixie, of course. But one day…

**MLP**

"Wake up, you lazy slave!" shouted Trixie. "The Beautiful and Royal Trixie needs you!"

A purple face of an alicorn appeared in the mirror.

"Please don't call me a slave," she said.

"It's what you are, isn't it?" sneered Trixie.

"Maybe so, but I do have a name. It's Twilight Sparkle."

"Too hard to remember. Slave works just fine for the Beautiful and Royal Trixie. Now then, here is my question—Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?"

Twilight gave a sly smile. "Afraid it's somepony else this time, Trixie."

"What?!" cried Trixie. "This simply cannot be! Who dares to be more beautiful than the Beautiful and Royal Trixie?!"

"Take a guess."

"If it's that Rarity girl, I'll—"

"It's not Rarity. You see, Trixie, true beauty cannot be hidden. You might dress her in rags…"

"Fluttershy!" hissed Trixie.

"But," Twilight continued, "she is lovely inside and out. You only have one out of two of those factors."

Trixie ran to the window to see Fluttershy scrubbing the steps. Fluttershy had tied a rag to each of her hooves and was happily washing away. She looked up to see Trixie and gave a cheerful wave with a soapy hoof. Trixie growled and shut the drapes.

"As long as nopony knows," she muttered to herself. "Still, I have to keep a close eye on this little princess…"

**MLP**

Fluttershy took a small break from washing to gather water from a nearby well. A phoenix flew over and landed on the rim of the well.

"Oh, hello Philomena," smiled the princess. "How are you today?"

Philomena cooed in reply.

"That's nice," said Fluttershy. "You tell Owlowliscious to get more sleep, okay?"  
Philomena nodded. Fluttershy smiled again and then looked around to make sure nopony was listening.

"Would you like to hear a secret?" she asked. "This is a wishing well. And do you know what my wish is? I wish that some nice pony would come along and take me away from all of this, and that my stepmother, The Beautiful and Royal Trixie would give us her blessing."

Philomena cocked her head. That wasn't likely.

"I know, I know," sighed Fluttershy. "You know, I get the feeling that she dislikes me a bit."

Just then, she heard a voice.

"Doughnuts! Get yer doughnuts!"

"Oh, it's Joe!" cried Fluttershy. She ran over to the castle wall and saw Joe, the doughnut salespony, walking by.

"Good morning, princess!" he called. "Care for a doughnut?"

"I'm afraid I don't have any money," said Fluttershy.

"Aww, princess," smiled Joe, "that's alright. You're still royalty, no matter what. And somepony as beautiful on the inside and out as you deserves the best doughnut I've got! Here!"

He tossed the princess a doughnut. Fluttershy graciously thanked him and he was on his way. But Trixie had been watching from the window. Again, she shut the drapes in anger.

"So," she said to herself, "my stupid slave isn't the only one who thinks that Fluttershy is so pretty, inside and out."

"Hey!" called Twilight. "I can hear you, you know! And I'm not stupid! I'm omnipresent! Do you want to know what my GPA is?"

"No, and the Beautiful and Royal Trixie has some planning to do." With a flourish, Trixie exited the room.

"I could tell her how this was going to turn out," Twilight grinned, "but I don't think I will."

**MLP**

Trixie summoned her huntsman to stand before her a little later.

"My dear Spike," she addressed him, "the Beautiful and Royal Trixie has an errand for you."

"Sure thing, your majesty!" said Spike. "Whatever you want, I'll do it! You want me to tame a wild beast? Done! You want me to discover a new land? Got it! You want me to slay a dragon! I…well, I'll do almost anything."

"Oh, you won't be slaying any dragons," smiled Trixie. "I want the princess's heart in a box, ASAP."

Spike's face paled. "Princess Fluttershy?! But I can't hurt her! I can't put her heart in a box! I don't think I could put anypony's heart in a box! It's wrong! And icky! I faint at the sight of blood! I'm a failure as a huntsman!"

"Her heart or yours," Trixie said calmly.

"Uh, well, when you put it like that…" trembled Spike.

**MLP**

So Spike took Fluttershy out to pick flowers in a small, secluded area.

"Okay," Spike said to himself, "here it goes. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. But I'm not good at stabbing ponies in the back! Or the front! Or the side, even! So that rules out the easy way. Then there's the hard way where I ask her for her heart, we barter for a bit 'till the price goes down, I trade her a chicken or two for her heart…nah, her heart's worth at least five chickens…"

"What's that about chickens?" asked Fluttershy.

Spike fell to his little knees in agony. "Oh, princess," he sobbed, "I can't kill you!"

"Why would you ever want to do that?" Fluttershy giggled, thinking he was joking.

"It's not me," explained Spike, "it's the Queen! She hates you with a passion!"

"I did get that feeling," said Fluttershy, "but I never thought she'd act on it, aside from dressing me in rags, forcing me to act as a servant night and day, and insulting me to my face whenever she has the chance."

"Yeah, we're being ruled by an insane pony," agreed Spike. "Look, you've gotta get out of here!"

"But where can I go?" wondered Fluttershy, starting to get a little nervous.

"Into the woods!" said Spike. "As far away from the Queen as possible! NOW!"

"But-but what about you and my heart?"

"I'll figure something out," said Spike. "Now RUN! She's crazy!"

With a squeak of fear, Fluttershy turned and ran off into the deep, dark woods.


	2. Fluttershy and the Four Crusaders II

The woods proved to be very frightening for the poor princess. She stumbled through the bushes and trees, surrounded by strange eyes watching her from the darkness. Eventually, she fell to the ground, sobbing in terror. A lone rabbit hopped out from the shrubbery and tapped her on the head.

"Ahh!" cried Fluttershy. The rabbit turned around and ran away.

"Wait, don't go!" the princess called. The rabbit poked his head out again.

"How silly of me," Fluttershy laughed. "It's just my forest friends. I was afraid it was the Queen or some sort of monster."

A large bear grunted, confused.

"You see, my stepmother is after my heart," explained Fluttershy. "And not in the romantic way," she added.

The animals gasped.

"If I could only find a place to stay and hide," Fluttershy continued, "then maybe I could escape her. But there's nowhere I know that-"

The little rabbit raised his paw.

"What's that? You know a place?"

The rabbit nodded. Fluttershy immediately scooped him up and gave him a hug. "Oh," she cried, "you're such a little angel! In fact, I'll call you Angel from now on, alright?"

Angel thought about this for a moment, then nodded.

"Wonderful!" cried Fluttershy. "Now will you show me where I can stay?"  
Angel glared at her.

"Oh, right, you probably want me to put you down first," Fluttershy blushed. She set Angel on the ground, and the rabbit took off towards a clearing, with Fluttershy and the other animals following him.

**MLP**

In a nearby diamond mine, there worked four little fillies: Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Babs Seed. None of them had their cutie marks yet, and they were always trying to find them one way or another. As they worked today, they sang their usual work song.

(To the tune of "Dig Dig Dig" from _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_)

FILLIES: _**We work, work, work, work, work, work, work**_

_**In the mine down in the dark**_

_**We dig in spite of day or night**_

_**To get our cutie marks**_

APPLE BLOOM: _**When we found this ol' diamond mine**_

SCOOTALOO: _**We knew it was a major find**_

SWEETIE BELLE: _**And so now we work all the time**_

BABS: _**To get our cutie marks**_

"Are you sure this'll work?" asked Apple Bloom to Sweetie Belle as they continued working. "I mean, we've been working for days down here in the mine. I'm starting to think we weren't so lucky in finding it."

"My sister Rarity says that diamonds are _super _important," insisted Sweetie Belle. "I know there must be something we can do with them."

"Yeah, well," Babs muttered, "minin' them again and again ain't workin' out too well so far."

"Wanna call it a night?" asked Scootaloo. "My flank's still blank and my legs are getting sleepy."

Apple Bloom yawned and nodded. The four ponies put their tools away and trudged back to their clubhouse…only to find a little surprise waiting for them.

"Look!" cried Scootaloo, pointing to the clubhouse. "There's a light in there! Somepony brought a lantern in or something!"

"Are you sure it's somepony?" trembled Sweetie Belle. "What if it's a monster or something from the woods?"

"No monster's takin' our clubhouse!" growled Babs. "I say we take this thing by surprise, kick it out, and get our monster-butt-kicking cutie mark!"

"YEAH!" cried the others. They ran into the clubhouse, only to find Fluttershy and a few animal friends cleaning up. Fluttershy squealed in surprise at first, then calmed down a second later when she saw that it was only a few children.

"Oh my goodness!" smiled Fluttershy. "You startled me! My friend Angel didn't tell me that this adorable little treehouse was occupied. By the looks of things, I'd think it had been abandoned, so I was just cleaning…"

"Wait, who's Angel?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"Who's Angel?" scoffed Babs. "First things first! Who's _she_?"

"Oh, how silly of me," laughed Fluttershy. "My name is Fluttershy and Angel is this rabbit."

"Wow!" gasped the fillies. "Princess Fluttershy!"

"I never saw you outside the castle before!" marveled Apple Bloom. "And you can talk to bunnies?"

"I can talk to all kinds of animals," explained Fluttershy. "It's my special talent."

"We can't find our talents yet," sighed Sweetie Belle. "We call ourselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders, 'cause we're always looking for our cutie marks."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," said Babs. "Not to sound grumpy or nothin', but what's the princess doin' in our little clubhouse?"  
"That's a good question," said Apple Bloom. "Not to be rude, but I feel pretty bashful sitting here in front of the princess, not knowin' what's goin' on."

"Not mention dopey," added Sweetie Belle.

"Oh, how silly of me," said Fluttershy. "Well, here's what's going on…"

The Crusaders listened as Fluttershy explained all about Queen Trixie's plot and how she had run away to avoid being killed.

"Wow," whispered the Crusaders when Fluttershy was finished.

"So we've got a wanted princess staying with us!" cried Scootaloo. "Neat!"

"I understand if you want me to go…" Fluttershy began, before the others cut her off.

"No!" they yelped.

"We don't get a ton of guests," admitted Scootaloo. "It's nice to have royalty here. Besides, you're in danger, and we wanna help!"

"Yeah," Sweetie Belle said, a little nervously. "Maybe we could get some kind of princess protector cutie marks that way."

"Ooh," the other Crusaders chorused.

"What about your parents?" asked Fluttershy.

Babs shrugged. "Ahh, we spend the night here all the time. They won't worry."

"Wonderful," said Fluttershy, clapping her hooves together. "Now, then, my friends and I have gathered some food from the woods, so I can make us some dinner."

The Crusaders cheered.

"Just be sure to wash up first," added Fluttershy.

The Crusaders' faces fell.

**MLP**

Back at the castle, Trixie proudly strolled up to her Magic Mirror, holding the box supposedly containing Fluttershy's heart.

"Magic Mirror on the wall, _now _who's the fairest one of all?" she smugly asked.

"Still Fluttershy," smiled Twilight.

Trixie dropped the box in surprise. "What?! But look in here! Her heart!"

Frantically, Trixie opened the box and displayed it to Twilight. Twilight looked at it for a second, then looked up at Trixie.

"Your majesty, that's a jawbreaker."

"It is? The huntsman said it was the princess's heart."

"And you believed him?"

"Yes!" stammered Trixie. "The Beautiful and Royal Trixie has never seen a real pony heart-"

"Probably because you don't have one…" Twilight whispered to herself.

"—so when he presented this to me, I just assumed…I…it…look! It's covered in blood! See?"

Twilight took another look, then turned up to Trixie. "That's from a melted popsicle."

Trixie angrily threw the box against the wall. "That dragon really _is _a failure as a huntsman! Ooh, when I deal with him, he'll regret ever crossing the Beautiful and Royal Trixie! But first, I must take care of Fluttershy! I can't stand somepony being more fair than I!" She turned back to the mirror. "Where is she?"  
Twilight sighed. It really stank having to be honest with Trixie, but it was part of the job. "She's in the clubhouse of the Cutie Mark Cruaders outside the woods."

With a flourish, Trixie exited the room. Down the stairs Trixie stomped, eventually reaching her secret laboratory.

"My slave in the mirror thinks she's the only smart one around here," Trixie fumed to herself. "Well, just because I don't know everything like she does, doesn't mean I know nothing! I'll disguise myself as a peddler woman…yes…and then I'll feed Fluttershy a poisoned apple, delicious and red…she'll fall asleep forever, unless awakened by a kind-hearted pony's kiss on the lips! And who would kiss her when she's six feet under? A worm, perhaps!"

Trixie cackled loudly, then stopped and mused, "The Beautiful and Royal Trixie does wish for company. That way my monologue wouldn't seem so forced and expository. Didn't I have a raven or something a while back? What happened to him?"

She turned around to see a raven skeleton sitting in a cage.

"Hmm," said Trixie, "I really need to come down here more often."

**MLP**

Fluttershy had never had so much fun in all of her life! She happily danced the night away with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. As they danced, the Crusaders sang to Fluttershy all about their many attempts at finding a cutie mark.

(To the tune of "The Silly Song" from _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_)

SCOOTALOO: _**I tried to ride around the park**_

_**On my scooter, rolling**_

APPLE BLOOM: _**But she's got no cutie mark**_

_**For that along with bowling**_

ALL FOUR: _**It's true, we're feeling blue**_

_**A mark is hard to find**_

_**All the other ponies say**_

_**We have a one-track mind**_

SWEETIE BELLE: _**I've tried to do so many things**_

_**But I just keep on falling**_

BABS: _**It just looks like the four of us**_

_**Will never find our calling**_

ALL FOUR: _**It's true, we're feeling blue**_

_**A mark is hard to find**_

_**All the other ponies say**_

_**We have a one-track mind**_

"Oh, girls," said Fluttershy, "I just know you'll find your cutie marks. Everypony does eventually. It takes patience, you know."

"We've been nothing but patient!" insisted Scootaloo.

Fluttershy smiled, but narrowed her eyes a bit.

"Okay," Scootaloo admitted, "I guess we haven't been _super_ patient, but it's so tough being a blank flank all the time."

"How'd you get _your_ cutie mark?" Apple Bloom asked.

(To the tune of "Someday My Prince Will Come" from _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_)

FLUTTERSHY: _**I was alone at first**_

_**Felt like I had been cursed**_

_**With an isolation spell of sorts**_

_**And let me tell you, I could get bored**_

_**But I had animals**_

_**From big to very small**_

_**And we all talked until**_

_**I had a certain skill**_

_**And I received my cutie mark**_

"So you just practiced and practiced?" asked Babs.

"That's right," said Fluttershy. "Good things come to those who wait, they say. But for now, I think we could all use some sleep."

The Crusaders nodded. It had been a long day. Everypony got into a sleeping bag (Fluttershy's was a little small on her, but she didn't mind) and went to sleep, along with all the animals. Not a peep was heard throughout the forest.

**MLP**

Spike tiptoed through the castle, trying to avoid the guards as best as he could. If he could just find that secret stash of jewels he'd hidden, he would have enough food to last him until he escaped to the next kingdom where hopefully ponies wouldn't ask for hearts in boxes or that kind of nonsense.

He ducked behind a curtain when he thought he heard somepony coming. It was probably just the wind, though, he decided. Suddenly, he heard a voice: "Psst!"

Spike jumped in surprise. Had he been caught! He looked around. Behind this curtain, there was nothing but an old mirror…with a face in it.

"Hi," said the face, which belonged to Twilight.

Spike gasped. "What are you?"

"I'm a slave in the Queen's secret Magic Mirror," explained Twilight. "I was expecting you. With your help, I can be free."

"Really?" said Spike. "I didn't know the Queen _had_ a secret Magic Mirror."

"That's why it's a secret," Twilight said patiently.

Spike cocked his head a bit. "And you knew I was coming?"

"I'm omnipresent," replied Twilight. "It's part of the magic. Look, the Queen will be leaving soon, and I need someone to go down into her secret lab to brew a spell that will free me."

"I didn't know the Queen _had _a secret lab."

"That's why it's a secret," Twilight repeated, a little less patiently.

"How do I know you're a good spirit?" Spike asked suspiciously.

"Because I want to save the princess!" cried Twilight. "I'll lose my omnipresence if I leave the mirror, but it beats being stuck here with that Queen of ours."

"Good enough for me," shrugged Spike. "So how do I find the secret—"

At that moment, they heard somepony approaching, for real this time. Spike hid behind a drape as Trixie entered, looking ugly and haggard.

"How do I look?" she asked Twilight, while flaunting her disgusting self around.

"Hideous," Twilight replied.

"Excellent," Trixie smiled, "I knew I could count on you for an honest answer. It's one of the only things you're good for. Now, then, the next time you see the Beautiful and Royal Trixie, I will be the fairest one of all! For good!"

"Did you come up here just to show off?" groaned Twilight.

"I had a raven for a while, but it didn't work out."

As soon as Trixie left, Spike came out of hiding and Twilight began instructing him on how to find the lab.


	3. Fluttershy and the Four Crusaders III

"Now, listen," Babs told Fluttershy the next day, "pardon our paranoia, but that Queen could be anywhere. Our parents tell us she's tricky."

"Right!" agreed Apple Bloom. "So don't let anypony in!"

"Except for us," added Sweetie Belle.

"Where are you going?" Fluttershy asked them.

"Back to the diamond mine," called Scootaloo, as they started walking off. "We figure we might as well keep trying like you said!"

"_**Heigh-ho, heigh-ho**_," they sang as they marched around the bend.

The second they were gone, Trixie crept out from her hiding place in the bushes. Now she was going to take care of Fluttershy once and for all with that apple of hers.

"Apples," she called, "who would care for a free poison apple?"

Fluttershy poked her head out of the clubhouse's window. "A free what?"

"A free regular apple," Trixie called back.

"Well," said Fluttershy, with a hint of suspicion, "my stepmother did say to always treat your elders with respect right before she would hit me…"

Trixie nodded happily.

"I suppose I can let you in," Fluttershy smiled innocently, and opened the clubhouse's door. Trixie walked in and immediately thrust the apple into the princess's face. Curiously, Angel sniffed the apple and screeched in horror.

"What's that?" asked Fluttershy to her rabbit companion. "You say that the apple is actually poisoned? Oh my goodness!" She turned to Trixie. "That means that you must be…"

"Drat!" cried Trixie. "I didn't know you could talk to animals! Impressive."

Philomena had been watching from the window and immediately flew off to get help.

"Well," sneered Trixie, "no matter. There's more than one way to skin a pony."

"You want to skin me?" gasped Fluttershy.

"Figure of speech," Trixie grinned, before shoving the apple into the princess's mouth. Fluttershy immediately collapsed.

"Now I'm the fairest one of all!" Trixie cackled.

"GRRRRRRR…"

Trixie looked around, only to realize that she was surrounded by angry forest animals, including a large bear. She whipped out a potion, took a gulp, and was immediately back to her normal young and "beautiful" self.

"Stand back!" she bellowed, before releasing a shockwave from her horn, sending the animals flying in all directions.

"I am magic after all," she boasted.

It began to rain. A storm was brewing. Trixie adjusted her cloak, took one last look at Fluttershy's limp body on the ground, and began to stroll away when something hit her in the back of the head.

"Ouch! That really hurt!" Trixie whined. She turned around to see Philomena and the four Crusaders standing behind her, armed with diamonds ready for throwing.

"Insolent brats!" growled Trixie. She shot a few beams at the Cruaders, making them duck behind a rock.

"What do we do?" whispered Apple Bloom.

"We gotta save the princess!" Babs whispered back. "And that means we gotta stop the Queen!"

They bolted out from behind the rock and continued to throw diamonds at Trixie, who fired more magic beams at them. But the little ponies were fast, and were able to dodge most of the bolts.

"You're dealing with royalty here!" yelled Trixie between shots.

"When the kingdom sees what you've done to Flutterhsy…" warned Scootaloo.

Trixie stopped for a moment. She had a bad reputation as it was, and if anypony found out about her not-so-little stunt with the princess, not to mention her killing a quartet of little fillies, it could cause a potential uprising. But if she could off them and make it look like an accident…

"Catch me if you can!" Trixie cheerfully called to the ponies, then bolted. The Crusaders and the animals raced after her through the stormy weather.

The chase led through the forest, up a mountainside. Trixie saw exactly what she was looking for near the top: A large boulder. She positioned herself behind it and began using her unicorn magic to pry the boulder loose, hoping it would crush the Crusaders.

The Crusaders realized what was happening when it was too late to turn around. They braced themselves and backed up a bit, scared out of their minds. But just when it seemed that they were lost, a lightning bolt struck the cliff's side, sending Trixie falling into the darkness below, along with the boulder.

**MLP**

The Crusaders dashed back to the clubhouse, followed by the forest animals. But when they got there, they realized that they were too late. Fluttershy lay on the ground, not moving. The girls sobbed quietly until the sun rose.

**MLP**

"So…" Scootaloo whispered the next morning, "what do we do with…her?"

"I don't know," Babs paced. "I mean, she's the princess. We gotta tell somepony, I just don't know how to break it to the kingdom."

"This is way too big for little ponies like us," moaned Apple Bloom. "Things were so much simpler a few days ago."

Sweetie Belle just nodded. Her ears suddenly perked up. "Hey," she hissed frantically, "somepony's coming!"

They poked their heads nervously out the window to find Twilight and Spike looking around.

"Are you sure he's around here?" asked Spike.

"I think so," replied Twilight. "I just hope we're not too late. If I recall correctly, she's in that little treehouse up there."

The Curaders gasped and ducked back inside.

"Somepony knows!" they chorused.

Twilight strolled in, followed by Spike. "Not to worry," the purple alicorn assured the frantic fillies. "We're from the castle, and we are most certainly not friends with that awful Trixie."

"That's a relief," sighed Sweetie Belle. "She won't bother anypony again."

Spike sighed in relief as well. "I can keep my head, then!"

"B-but you're too late to save Fluttershy," sniffled Apple Bloom.

The other Crusaders nodded sadly.

"Again, we should be okay," said Twilight. "Spike and I took a few spellbooks from Trixie's lab. According to this book, we just have to find some nice pony boy who loves her to kiss her."

"Darn," said Scootaloo. "None of us fit that description."

"Doughnuts!" called a voice. "Get yer doughnuts!"

"It's Joe!" cried Spike. He ran out the door and a moment later returned, dragging Joe with him.

"What's going on?" asked Joe. "What happened to the princess?!"

"I've seen you talking to Fluttershy before!" explained Spike quickly. "I know you love her enough to give her a free doughnut, which is a really big thing in my book! You've gotta kiss her and break the spell!"

"I love her platonically!" stammered Joe. "I can't…I mean…she's royalty, and I don't feel that…"

"KISS HER!" everypony else shouted.

Joe gulped and gave Fluttershy a big kiss on the lips.

"I forgot to mention," added Twilight, "it could have been on the cheek instead."

Joe glared at her.

Just then, Fluttershy's eyes slowly opened! "What happened?" she asked groggily. This was met not by an answer, but by a huge group hug.

**MLP**

Things brightened up for everypony after that. Fluttershy became the new queen, with Twilight as her advisor (Fluttershy didn't know much about ruling a kingdom, after all), Spike as her huntsman (who never needed to put anypony's heart in a box again), and Joe as the royal chef.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were promised jobs as protectors someday in the future, but since they were too young at the time, they continued their quest for their cutie marks.

The diamond mine was given to Sweetie Belle's sister, Rarity, who put it to good use for her fashion line, which took off even more than it already had, thanks to the diamonds she added to the dresses.

And, as these stories usually end, they all lived happily ever after.


	4. Pinkie Pie-nocchio I

Long ago, in a far-away village, a young dragon wandered the streets, looking for somewhere to spend the night, just like he did every night. From village to village he went, seeking out food and companionship. Sadly, he usually found nothing.

"Scrounging is the worst," he muttered to himself. He fell to his little knees, threw back his arms and shouted to the heavens: "Why, oh, why must I roam as I do? Will I ever find a place I can call my home?"

"No!" somepony shouted in the distance. "Now, shut up! It's late!"

The dragon grumbled to himself, but kept walking. "Nopony around here has any appreciation for the dramatics."

But what that pony had said was true, at least partially. It was late. Most of the houses were dark. Still, one little shop had its lights on. With a hopeful smile, the dragon knocked on the door. An elderly pony answered a moment later.

"Hello, ma'm," the dragon said shyly. "My name is Spike and I was hoping to find a place to spend the night…would you…?"

"Of course!" the old pony cried. "You've got yerself a nice, honest face, and I don't usually turn folks away. Ya see, I once heard a tale of an enchantress, see, who was turned away by this nasty prince from Mar-ee, and he was turned into a hideous-"

"Mar-ee?" repeated Spike.

"Yep, like Par-ee, but with Mare. I don't get it, either. Oh, that reminds me. I didn't give you my name. I'm Granny Smith."

"Nice to meet you," said Spike. "Do your grandfoals live around here?"

"Oh no," Granny Smith said with a hint of sadness. She feigned a smile. "I ain't never had any grandfoals. Not of my own at least. I'm a toymaker. I considered being an apple farmer, but the land ain't right around here. So I figgered, if I can't feed the children, I might as well make 'em happy a different way. Why, lookie over here. It's my newest puppet."

She pointed to a table where a lovely white cat lay.

"Wow," marveled Spike, "it's so realistic."

He gave the cat a poke, only for it to spring to live, scratching like wild.

Granny Smith chuckled. "No, no, no, that's Opal. She don't take kindly to strangers at first, but she usually warms up to 'em later."

Spike came out from hiding from the angry cat and scanned the rest of the table. Amidst the tools and paint, there lay a filly-sized, pink puppet.

"There she is," said Granny. "Whaddaya think, Spike?"

"She's great!" cried Spike in amazement. "Nice craftsmanship, much better than the cat!"

Opal hissed.

"She's also really, uh, pink," Spike added.

"That's it!" exclaimed Granny. "I'd snap my fingers if I had 'em! I was considerin' the name Applejack, but I like the pink angle. I'll call her Pinkie Pie-occhio!"

Spike and Opal shared a skeptic glance, then shrugged. Granny Smith made her, she should have the right to name her, after all.

"Well," Granny yawned, "I'm gettin' mighty tired. I think it's time to hit the hay. Figuratively speakin' of course. We've got hay for breakfast, if you want."

"Beggars can't be choosers," said Spike. "I'm about ready for bed, too."

"Got a spare one upstairs," said Granny, pointing towards the staircase. Spike nodded, thanked Granny again, and headed up to go to sleep.

As Spike was getting comfortable, he heard Granny talking to Opal downstairs.

"He seems like a nice enough dragon," she was saying. "Maybe he wouldn't mind testing out some toys. I tell you, though, Opal, I wish…wait a second, I just remembered! It's such a nice night out, why don't you open the window for ol' Granny Smith?"

Spike heard an annoyed yowl in return, followed by the creak of a window opening (one that needed some oil, he might have added).

"Why, lookit that!" Granny cried. "It's the wishin' star! You know what I wish? I wish Pinkie Pie-occhio was a real filly! Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Nice," Spike said to himself, "but not likely. Still, it can't hurt to wish, I guess."

Spike lay in bed for a few minutes, then felt a tad thirsty. Granny Smith wouldn't mind if he got a quick drink of water, would she? No, of course not. And if he crept downstairs quietly enough, he might not even wake her.

So down Spike went. Just as he was finishing his drink, a bright light shot in through the window. Spike gasped and hid behind a shelf. A glowing figure approached the puppet.

"My, my," said a heavenly voice, "what a lovely puppet! My applause to this kindly toymaker."

Spike peeked out and nearly fainted. It was the Purple Fairy! He had heard about her before, but never had he seen her! She was a knockout! What a unicorn! He could have fainted from joy, but then he'd probably never get a chance to see her again! He tried his hardest to stay conscious, as he listened to her continue.

"I have heard your wish, Granny Smith," the Fairy said to the sleeping old pony. "You've been so wonderful to all the children of the village…I believe you should be rewarded."

Her horn glowed and the pink puppet instantly came to life!

"Wow!" she cried. "I can move! I can talk! I'm real!"

"Not yet," said the Fairy.

"Oh…" Pinkie Pie-occhio said, disappointed.

"But you can be," continued the Fairy. "If you can figure out the difference between right and wrong, and listen to your conscience…"

"What's that?" asked Pinkie.

"Now's my chance to impress the Fairy!" Spike thought to himself. He ran out from his hiding place and waved his hand. "I know, Miss Fairy! A conscience is what tells you what to do and what not to do!"

"That's right," the Fairy said warmly. "You're Spike the Dragon, aren't you?"

Spike blushed. "Gosh, you know my name, Miss Fairy?"

"Oh, please, call me Rarity."

Spike blushed harder.

"You know," said Rarity, after thinking for a second, "I believe you could be a fine conscience to Pinkie Pie-occhio here."

"Oooh!" cried Pinkie.

Spike was a little taken aback. "Me? You really think so? Well…uh…I'd hate to disappoint a real fairy, especially one so beautil—uh, I mean, yes! I'd love to do it!"

"Excellent," said Rarity. "In that case, you're in charge, Spike. I wish you the best of luck!" With that, she disappeared in a brilliant flash.

"Wow…" Spike whispered. He turned to Pinkie, happily. "Did you hear that? She knows my name and everything!"

"Yeah, she seems really neat!" agreed Pinkie. She playfully narrowed her eyes and added, "you sly dog, you."

Spike blinked, and realized he was talking to a living puppet. "Uh, so…now what, I wonder? I've gotta teach you right from wrong, don't I?"

"That's what the Fairy said," nodded Pinkie. "Wanna sing about it?"

"Sure, why not?" Spike shrugged.

(To the tune of "Give a Little Whistle" from _Pinocchio_)

SPIKE: _**Well, two rights don't make a wrong**_

_**Two wrongs won't make a right**_

_**Least as far as I know**_

_**Least as far as I know**_

_**But I'm here to help you out**_

_**And get you through each night**_

_**Least as far as I know**_

_**Least as far as I know**_

_**I was entrusted here**_

_**By Miss Rarity**_

_**I will not fail her or you**_

PINKIE: _**No you won't!**_

SPIKE: Right!

_**So I'll teach you right from wrong**_

_**That's what I'm gonna do**_

_**Together we can do it**_

_**Together we can do it**_

_**At least as far I know**_

_**It is true!**_

"What's all that singin'?" came the voice of Granny Smith. "I'm tryin' to sleep!"

"Well, you're not trying hard enough!" laughed Pinkie, before Spike absent-mindedly shoved her out of the way and ran over to Granny's bed.

"Granny Smith!" cried Spike. "I almost forgot! There was this Fairy! She was purple! The...uh…the Purple Fairy, that was her name! Well, her name was Rarity! And she…she…"

"What kinda dream did you have?" chuckled Granny Smith. She stopped chuckling when Pinkie jumped into her lap.

"Hi, Granny!" she sang. "It's a girl! Congratulations!"

Granny gasped. "Spike! Opal! Do you see—"

"They see with their eyes, of course," laughed Pinkie. "What do you see with?"

Opal screeched in fear and dove under the bed.

"You weren't dreamin'!" Granny Smith realized. "Unless I'm the one who's dreamin'!"

Pinkie squeezed her cheeks. "This is the closest to pinching I can do!" grinned the pink pony. "You awake?"

"Yes! YES!" Granny happily replied and gave Pinkie a huge hug. "My little Pinkie Pie-occhio! Alive!"

"And I'll be a real pony someday," said Pinkie, "if I listen to my conscience. That's Spike over there."

Spike and Pinkie explained everything to Granny Smith. Opal even came out after a while to listen to the story as well.

"This is so wonderful!" Granny sighed, contently. "But…it doesn't change the fact that I'm still sleepy. How 'bout we all go back to bed and tomorrow Spike can take Pinkie to school?"  
"School?" whined Spike. "You mean I have to go too?"

"It's what a good conscience would do," explained Granny. "You wanna make me and the Purple Fairy proud, doncha?"  
Spike nodded reluctantly. Pinkie nodded, too, more happily. "I can't wait!" she yawned.


	5. Pinkie Pie-nocchio II

The next morning, Granny Smith sent Pinkie Pie-occhio off to school. "How wonderful!" she said to Opal. After a moment, something came to mind. "Wait a second! Where's Spike?"

"I'm right here," Spike said groggily. "What's up?"

"You've gotta take Pinkie to school!" cried Granny Smith.

Spike shot up, completely awake. "Oh no! I'm late already! I'm coming, Pinkie!" Down the street he sprang.

Granny Smith waved to him, only for something else to come to mind. "Wait a second, Spike! You're headin' the wrong way!"

She began to run after him…or rather, walk after him…actually, it was more like a hobble. "I gotta get that new hip…"

**MLP**

A pair of shady-looking ponies strolled along as the little ponies of the village rushed off to school.

"Flam," the first one said.

"Yes, Flim?"

"Doesn't it fill you with hopefulness to see these children heading off to school?"  
"Not really," said Flam.

"Why's that?" Film asked his brother. "After all, it's a nice reminder that there's always fresh blood out there to scam, to separate from their hard-earned cash."

"I used to think that," said Flam, "until I realized that they'll learn things at school. They'll be less naïve, you see, less susceptible to our old song-and-dance. Why, they may learn enough to compete with us someday!"

The pair shuddered.

"Might I remind you," Flam continued, "that we never went to school. They'll…they'll…they'll know more than us, perhaps!"

"Street-smart and book-smart are not the same thing," Flim argued. "Still, we haven't had a good gig in quite a while. What we need is somepony who acts like they were born yesterday."

"I was born yesterday!" came a girl's high-pitched voice.

"Very funny," Flim said dryly, "but I didn't mean…" he turned around and gasped. "Flam, look!"

Behind them stood Pinkie Pie-occhio.

"Well, actually," mused the little pony, "I was born last night. Does that count as yesterday? Or is that too close? Was it after midnight? 'Cause that means I was born this morning! I think. I don't know that much yet, see. That's why I'm going to school, so I can learn more and more and more and more and more!"

Flim and Flam stared in awe as the pony babbled on. This was either a miracle or some very dark magic. Either way, one didn't see a talking puppet everyday. Or ever, for that matter. They glanced at each other, then smiled. It was exploitation time.

"School, you say?" Flam said sweetly. "Now, now, you don't need to go to school."

"I don't?" said Pinkie. "That's good. Spike made it sound kinda boring. He's my-"

"Yes, yes," Flam cut her off. "As I was saying, you don't need school to be smart. You need…"

"A self-help class!" finished Flim.

Flam and Pinkie looked confused. "A what?"

"Iron Will is back in town," Flim whispered to his brother. "He loves finding new ways to attract suckers."

Flam gave his brother a knowing wink and then turned back to Pinkie. "Yes, my little wooden friend, a self-help class! Our nice friend, Iron Will, teaches little ponies to be strong, tough, smart, and assertive! The kinds of things you'd learn in school, only more FUN!"

"Fun?!" cried Pinkie. "Oh, I just love fun! Can we go see him?"

"Of course," chorused the Flim-Flam Brothers.

"In fact," added Flim, "you can even help him if you wish!"

Pinkie jumped up and down happily. Here she was, already helping other ponies! The Purple Fairy would be so proud!

"Come along, miss!" called Flam. The brothers hoisted Pinkie up and began to dance down the street.

(To the tune of "Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee" from _Pinocchio_)

FLIM: _**Self-help is the key**_

_**To making history**_

_**You'll benefit all your fellow colts**_

_**But you're so modest, you'd never gloat**_

FLAM: _**Self-help is a tool**_

_**That you won't learn in school**_

_**But we know that you'll get quite a thrill**_

_**When you're alongside Sir Iron Will**_

FLIM AND FLAM: _**You'll learn and learn and learn more until**_

_**You've mastered all the rules**_

Spike, finally running in the right direction, dashed right by the trio, who were heading the other way. He screeched to a halt and turned around. "Hey! Pinkie!"  
"Hi, Spike!" waved Pinkie.

"A dragon," observed Flam.

"Think Iron Will could use one of them?" asked Flim.

"Nah, they grow up to be too big," said Flam. "Run along, little one."

"I'm not that little," Spike said indignantly. "And where are you going with my friend?"

"We're going to help ponies!" grinned Pinkie. "Won't the Purple Fairy be happy?"

Spike was a little flustered. "Uh, yeah, I'm sure she'd be happier, though, if you went to school. As your conscience, I…"

Flim and Flam laughed.

"What's so funny?" glared Spike.

"We might not have had any schooling as foals," said Film, "but anypony knows that a conscience isn't a tangerine—"

"Tangible," corrected Flam.

"…tangible thing. Now, run along."

"Bye!" called Pinkie as they danced away. "They're grown-ups! They know what's best for us kids! Besides, they say this is better than school, anyway!"

Off the three of them went, singing all the way: _**Self-help is the key**_

_**To making history…**_

Spike, left behind, sputtered angrily. "I oughta tell Granny Smith on her! Nah, that's no good…if she won't listen to me, why listen to her? I'm gonna have to follow her myself!"

**MLP**

The first thing anypony noticed about Iron Will was his huge size. The second thing they noticed was that he was not a pony at all, but a Minotaur. The third thing they noticed was his group of goats that were constantly following him. All in all, it made for an intimidating combination.

Spike peered through the crowd of ponies that had gathered at Iron Will's stage, on the outskirts of the village, near the mountains. Having a hard time getting a good view, Spike climbed up a lamppost and managed to make out the Flim-Flam Brothers leaving with a small sack of coins.

"There's something fishy about this," Spike thought to himself.

A little while later, Iron Will walked onstage.

"Welcome, all!" he boomed. "I am Iron Will, the greatest creature to walk the earth! Do you wish you too could be as great as me?"

The crowd cheered.

"Well, you can't," Iron Will said simply. "But you can come semi-close. Iron Will can teach you how to be the most assertive, persuasive ponies you can be! Anypony will listen to me and do what Iron Will says! Not just ponies, even! Why, Iron Will had a puppet made and just by shouting at it and using my own assertion tactics, I brought it to life!"

Pinkie Pie-occhio poked her head out of the curtains. "Really? Is that how it happened?" she asked innocently. "That's funny, I remember something about a fairy and a dragon…"

"GET BACKSTAGE!" Iron Will shouted at her. With a squeak and a salute, she quickly ducked back. The crowd gasped.

Iron Will, suddenly remembering the audience, laughed a bit. "Heh, she's cute, right? C'mon out, Pinkie, and show these nice ponies what you can do."

The curtains opened and Pinkie danced out.

(To the tune of "I've Got No Strings" from _Pinocchio_)

PINKIE: _**If you need help**_

_**Don't look no more**_

_**Just listen to**_

_**This Minotaur**_

_**He helped me**_

_**He told me so**_

_**And what he says will go**_

_**I was a lifeless hunk**_

_**Of wood propped against the wall**_

_**Having no life sure stunk**_

_**But Iron Will changed it all**_

_**If you need help**_

_**Then we'll help you**_

_**Me, Iron Will,**_

_**And the goats, too**_

_**You can be**_

_**The best, you know**_

_**And what you say will go**_

As Pinkie danced wildly across the stage, doing moves no normal pony could do, Spike and the audience stared in awe. Even the dragon had to admit that she was pretty impressive. When the song was over, everypony cheered as loudly as they could.

"Gee," Spike said to himself, "she does look pretty happy up there. Maybe Iron Will isn't so bad, once you get by the temper. Maybe he'd make a better conscience than me…maybe this is where Pinkie really belongs…"

**MLP**

That night, Pinkie sat backstage with Iron Will. "Was I good?" she asked.

"You were decent," said Iron Will. "Iron Will doesn't give out compliments that much. Why compliment when you can criticize?"

Pinkie's face fell a little. "Oh."

"It's alright," said Iron Will. "Iron Will knows that you'll do even better next time…or else."

"Next time?" repeated Pinkie. "Or else?"

"That's right," said Iron Will, calmly tossing Pinkie into an old cage. "Now get some sleep. Iron Will commands you!"

Laughing, he stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Bewildered and shocked, Pinkie began to cry.

It was at that moment that Spike entered through the curtains. "Pinkie? What's going on? I was just coming to say goodbye to you. Why are you in a cage?"

"Oh, Spike," sobbed Pinkie, "Iron Will is bad news! The worst news you could ever get! He doesn't treat me like a pony at all! You have to get me out of here! I don't know what he's planning, but I don't wanna work with such a meanie anymore!"

"Yeah, of course," said Spike. "Just keep your voice down, okay? We don't want him to come back. Now, let's see…"

Spike tried to pick the lock with his claws and his tail, but it was no use. He couldn't seem to break the cage, either.

"Hmm…" he pondered. "I might have to get some help, but I'm afraid Iron Will might take you away while I'm gone…"

Pinkie suddenly gasped and pointed to a window that showed the night sky. Down came a glowing star. "Look, Spike! It must be the Purple Fairy! She'll save me!"

"Hot diggity!" cheered Spike.

"Wait a second," Pinkie realized, "I'll be in so much trouble when she finds me like this! Spike, do something now!"

"There's nothing I can do," said Spike, "'cause she's here!"

It was true—there was Rarity, standing before them.

"Oh my goodness!" she cried. "Whatever happened here, Pinkie Pie-occhio?"

"Better tell the truth," urged Spike.

"Well," said Pinkie, "I was going to school…when there was this awful earthquake! And it flung me through the air, and my voice sounded real silly, cause I was shaking a whole lot, and I landed in front of this huge monster who said, 'I think I'll eat you up!' And then he put me in this cage while he went to go look for truffles, because everypony knows that monsters absolutely adore truffles, and that's why I'm in this cage. Oh, and Spike was there."

Spike's eyes were bulging at this point. Not because Pinkie had dragged him into this mess, but because every time her lie got bigger, her nose grew longer!

"What happened to my nose?!" gasped Pinkie, when she realized her strange transformation.

"Well, it's certainly not your style," fussed Rarity. "It simply does not suit you at all. You see, Pinkie, when you tell such lies as those, they are as plain as the nose on your face."

Pinkie blinked. "Meaning…?"

"It means," sighed Rarity, "that lying is bad and you shouldn't do it." She leaned over to Spike and whispered, "Honestly, Spikey-Wikey, she does not grasp subtlety at all. Something else I suppose you'll need to cover."

Spike was in a grinning stupor after hearing the "Spikey-Wikey" bit, but quickly shook himself out of it. "Uh, if it pleases your grace, Miss Rarity, could you turn Pinkie's nose back to normal and let her out of the cage?"

"Indeed I shall," said Rarity, "but only if she tells the truth. It shall set you free, you know."

Pinkie sighed deeply. "Okay…these two ponies told me not to go to school and to be a performer here instead. Honest, Miss Fairy, I thought I was doing the right thing, helping other ponies and all, but I guess I learned not to trust just anypony, huh? I'm really sorry for not going to school."

Just as her nose had grown with each lie, with each truth it shrank down to its original size. Rarity smiled, and with a zap of her horn, the cage door opened.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" cried Pinkie.

"Just let that be a lesson," smiled Rarity. "Now, then, Pinkie, I think it's time you and Spikey-Wikey here should be getting home."

"You're right!" cried Spike. "Pinkie, Granny Smith must be worried! We have to go!"

"Yeah," agreed Pinkie, "and before that big jerk Iron Will comes back!"

They turned to thank Rarity, but found that she had vanished, leaving a bit of sparkling dust behind her. With a shrug, Pinkie and Spike fled from the awful stage and headed back towards the village.

**MLP**

"Easiest job we've ever pulled," Flim bragged to a plump, blue pony at an old bar. "We worked that little puppet like she was a…well, you know."

The blue pony chuckled a bit and took a drink of cider.

"And," Flam added, "we got a hefty sum for it, too. Iron Will knows how to treat us Flim-Flam Brothers right, I assure you."

"Now then, Mrs. Cake," said Flim, addressing the blue pony, "you called us here for a reason, you said?"

"Oh, yes," smiled Mrs. Cake. "You see, boys, I heard you were the slyest ponies in town, and if your story is true, then you know how to speak to stupid little children."

"Do we ever!" the brothers grinned.

Mrs. Cake laughed. "Oh, good, good, good. I was certainly hoping that would be your answer. But what I have to offer you will be ten times the amount Iron Will gave you, so long as you follow my instructions."

Flim and Flam looked at each other, then back to Mrs. Cake with great curiosity.

"You see," continued Mrs. Cake, "I want the stupidest little ponies you can find. The kind who never go to school and never obey their parents."

"Sounds like us as kids," remarked Flim, before Flam gave him a smack to the back of his head.

"Well," Mrs. Cake said sweetly, "then you know exactly who to look for, don't you? Anyhow, my boys will take them all down to Pleasure Island—"

The Flim-Flam Brothers gasped upon hearing the dreaded name. They looked around the bar, but since it was almost empty, nopony seemed to notice.

"Pleasure Island?" Flam finally whispered. "But what if the children tell the law on us? You know what goes on there!"

"Of course I do," chuckled Mrs. Cake. "I built it, after all."

Flim and Flam gulped.

"Besides," Mrs. Cake continued, "they're not quite themselves when they come back…"

At that moment, the Brothers could have sworn they saw her face…change a little bit. But a second later, she was back to her normal, bubbly self. She took another gulp of cider and smiled kindly at them.

"Now then," she said in a syrupy tone, "I'd get out there if I were you and round up my little ponies."


End file.
